PSA: The dangers of pumping

Pumping at work? It’s inconvenient. Not only do you need to stop what you’re doing at least 2 times a day for 30 minutes just to keep your supply up, but you have to walk 8 million miles to a separate building to a hidden bathroom where a chair and table are set up in a cold handicap stall just for that purpose (and by you, I mean me, but just imagine with me for a minute).

Okay, maybe it’s not 8 million miles. And perhaps the separate building is actually connected to my building by just a hallway and it’s only like a 2 minute walk, but still, it’s annoying.

You then have to set yourself up, disrobe, and deal with the awkward “what’s that noise?” from unknowing women who picked that.exact.time. to hit up the least used bathroom in the company. Enough about the inconvenience though, we deal. We’re moms and sometimes we do what we have to do. Or sometimes the guilt of needing to save money and all the hoopla of “breast is best” gets to you. And until you get over that guilt you’ll do it until you can’t do it any more.

What you don’t know is the danger of pumping in hidden bathrooms at work. Not only is our hidden bathroom barely heated (talk about freezing when your dress is pulled up to your neck and your whole body is exposed to the frigid air), but it is lit by motion sensored lights. Motion sensors that are by the sink. So, whether it’s pumping session or long poop, inevitably you’re doing it in the dark, and we all know dangerous accidents happen in the dark. But the real danger is the tormenting ghost trying to stop you from completing the full required time to empty your udders.

As I pumped today, freezing, in the dark, minding my own business I was incredibly startled as the toilet, just 2 feet away from me, suddenly flushed. A motion sensored toilet that was facing a direction not towards me. And as I sit pumping, no motion should have been sensed. I stopped dead in my tracks, my heart raced, I didn’t move for fear I would see a scene straight out of GhostHunters. Except this might be a funnier scene since it was a bathroom stall and I was half naked.

These dangers are real folks. Is it worth it for me to potentially die from hypothermia and the possibility of a ghost attack? This is why they tell you, never pump alone. Or maybe that’s walking alone at night…. but remember, I said it’s dark.


About Krista

Livin the poor life with the typical american family; husband, baby, and dogs. Happy to tell it like it is, the ins and outs of being a young, hip mom can be more hilarious than one might think ;)
This entry was posted in I'm Crazy, NaBloPoMo, Post pregnancy, What the Eff?. Bookmark the permalink.

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