Oh yes, this is what it was like to be pregnant. Silly me, I seem to have blocked out the memories and only seemed to remember my excitement of that positive pregnancy test and the occasional douchebaggery that was more often than not directed at Dave. I remember laughing at myself because the hormones made me cry at dumb things, but not because I was necessarily sad, so it wasn’t one of those “early pregnancy symptoms” to put on the “holy hell this sucks” list.
But now, oh yes, now I remember. I’m tired. So tired. Like “I would shave my head bald and give up Starbucks for a year if someone would let me stay in bed for a day” tired. Like “please don’t ask me any questions that require brain function because I can’t even see straight” tired. And “my boss is lucky I’m taking the time to brush my hair” tired. That tired. And every day I think of how easy it would be to just call in sick, drop off Owen, and spend the day in my bed. But you know what? I would still be just.as.tired. So, what’s the point???
Oh, and I totally forgot about those moments. The moments when you’re fine and dandy, then all of sudden you wonder where the nearest trash or toilet is because there’s a 40% chance that you’re going to vomit your last meal. And more likely than not it’s when you’re talking to someone, and know you can’t get away, or sit down, or tell them that you don’t want to look at their face anymore because you’d rather curl up and heave just to feel better. Or when you’re hiding a pregnancy from 22 of Dave’s closest relatives, and Dave is golfing with the guys, and you’re pretty sure you’re going to hurl, but you’re taking care of your child, with all of the women in the family. So you make an excuse to take your baby for a walk, because there’s nothing better than some fresh air and a wide open street to lose your lunch. But they insist on coming with you. Yeah, that.
According to my memory before I saw that digital positive, I never had morning sickness. I never felt all that bad. But, oh yeah, now I remember. I remember eating saltines at my desk and getting ginger ale from the vending machine. I remember eating ice cream because sometimes it was just the only thing my stomach would even allow me to put down there. Lucky for me, I’ve kept it down so far, both with my first pregnancy and this one. And lucky for everyone around me as well, I suppose.
But more importantly, I’m tired. Take exhibit A below:
Can you even see my eyes behind those dark circles? Yeah, I didn’t think so. But putting on makeup? Yikes, it just takes so…much…effort. And did I mention, I’m just too tired?
Oh, and one last thing, there is one definite difference with this pregnancy. Picture being tired, barfy, and flabby (oh, that 5 pound bloat????) and having this guy following me everywhere. And damn, is he demanding 🙂