Fear of former favorite places

The grocery store can be terrifying. You never know what’s going to happen. It always starts out good enough, I got my purse stocked up with snack traps, sippy cups, extra goldfish, and plastic trucks. That should get me through each aisle unscathed, right?

I used to love the grocery store. Yup, I said it, LOVE. There’s something so relaxing to me about going slowly through every aisle,  surrounded by the things I love, my thoughts are my own. And seriously, it’s the ability to spend money, and it’s justified! Read: GUILT FREE.

Lately? Notsomuch. We get through the produce alright, Owen snacks on his bite-sized treats, and gets excited to play with the thin plastic bags that come off in rolls (don’t judge, seriously, I give him a plastic bag to play with, I have to pick my battles here people, not like I’m walking away and letting him put it over his face). He sometimes gets a little angry if I won’t let him hold an onion, but he calms down quickly enough.

Next off to the frozen foods, nibble, nibble, nibble… Oooh, look at the hanging leaves on the ceiling! As we approach the center of the store, things start to fall apart. Those goldfish? Start hitting the floor. Before I know it, I have a handfull of dirty goldfish in my pocket, and the 5 second rule does not apply in stores. “You’re being fresh, mummy’s taking away the goldfish”. To which I replace the snack trap with his little red fire engine. This gets us through a couple more aisles, and undoubtedly ends up with his truck being thrown at least 10 feet in the opposite direction from where I am walking. And I end up being that embarrassed mama going to fetch it. I do a lot more “shouldn’t we be nice at the store?” and “we do not throw our toys”. All lost on a 13-month old.

By the soup aisle we’re in full tantrum mode. Why, Market Basket, do you feel the need to sporadically place balloons throughout the store, when you know they’re my son’s favorite toy??? And by doing this, you make him mad, because he sees them, and cannot have them, which in turn, makes me miserable. Thanks a lot, jackasses.

Anyway, by the milk and cheese aisle (almost there!) I’m ignoring him. I’ve done distractions, I’ve sang songs, I’ve raced through the aisles speeding the cart up while replicating the “duh-duh” sounds of Jaws approaching in the water. All are successful, but none for too long. I just need to focus. I need to make sure I have the makings of at least one full meal. I am that mom. The mom I always watched thinking “her child is being awful, she’s ignoring him. My child won’t do that, and if he does, we’ll leave the store.” Oh yeah, me-from-the-past? Serves you right. I gotta get my groceries, and come Hell-or-high-water I’m going.to.get.these.groceries. Because I am certainly not coming back here anytime soon.

We’ve made it, he is able to push the buttons on the credit card swiper (that’s the technical term, obviously) and he’s happy while they bag the groceries and he can talk to the teenager who’s haphazardly throwing things into the cart. We get to the car. He (without fail) screams as I put him into his car seat. I get in the car. I breathe. I survived.

Now how the hell will I get these groceries in the house?

Sigh.

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About Krista

Livin the poor life with the typical american family; husband, baby, and dogs. Happy to tell it like it is, the ins and outs of being a young, hip mom can be more hilarious than one might think ;)
This entry was posted in I'm Crazy, What the Eff?. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Fear of former favorite places

  1. Ashley says:

    I hate the grocery store. For this exact reason. I always always say, before entering the store- no begging. I think the begging is the worst. Mom can I have this, mom can I have that please please please its all I’ve ever wanted! Stupid strategic placeing of the stupidest stuff ever. Good luck getting it in the house. I hate that part too. LOL

  2. I can absolutely relate to all of this. Except the part about loving to shop before. I have NEVER enjoyed grocery shopping. But, pre-child I did not actually fear it. I always say it’s like living next to a volcano; you never know when it’s going to go off. I spend the entire time terrified my child is going to turn in to THAT kid.

    As far as getting the groceries in the house is concerned, I have no problems with that part. I put SB in her booster seat, give her a snack and turn on PBS. Yes, I use the TV as a babysitter so I can put away my groceries. Sue me! 😉

  3. I can relate. I hate going to the grocery store. I posted something similar yesterday to this type of event. Check it out on http://www.mountainmum.com/2010/10/one-child-is-easier.html.

    My daughter goes nuts over the balloons in stores too. She is 2 years old. So, I guess it doesn’t change.

  4. Renelle says:

    I gotta say, my little girl has always been pretty good at the grocery store, but we were blessed with a freakishly good child too. I can totally relate to the last sentiment though. Going anywhere with her always results in me trying to drag her and 30 bags up the stairs into out apartment. I’m so glad she can finally navigate the stairs, with me so close to her little butt that my legs are touching her so she doesn’t fall back down while I try to bring groceries, or random crap from one of my parents up the stairs.
    When she was about the age of your little one, she jerked while I was trying to put her in the car in the middle of winter, with 1000 things in my hands and actually caused me to slip a disk in my back. It still hurts. It was either that, or she was going to bash her tiny face on the outside of the car door.
    Saving her from the ice covered road and the car door was worth it… I just wish she wouldn’t have tried to “help” me open the door.
    Now that I think about it… she has thrown a tantrum or two right in the middle of the walkway into the supermarket. That’s why I always keep her in the cart. God forbid she has to walk while holding my hand at the same time.

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