My friend Tracey told me the other day, “your life is like a sitcom.” So true, my friend. Seriously. Nothing normal happens to us. When the sh*t hits the fan, it gets everywhere, I mean ev.er.y.where. Oh, while we’re on the topic, let me tell you about crap.
Last week, week FIVE of having no hot water (update: should only be ONE MORE WEEK), I needed to do laundry. Now, you can only do so much laundry without hot water. Owen requires his clothes to be washed in warm water (not as in “mom, you must wash my clothes in warm water”, but jeez, he’s a baby, those things get dirty). In order to wash his clothes, our sheets, towels, etc, I must do what I do best now. Boil water. No prob. Fill up our two trusty spaghetti pots, boil ’em up, carry them down (a narrow, long, head hitting staircase) to the basement, and voila! we have warm water for clothes.
On this particular night (and every other night) I was doing overtime at my job, but I figured I could throw in the laundry, get some more work done, take a quick break to put it in the dryer, and continue being productive. When I went down to switch over the clothes, I got half way done and realized that of course, like the past month of my life, not even this was going to be easy.
To my great surprise (though I shouldn’t ever be surprised anymore) there was crap all over the washing machine. I don’t mean a little… I mean chunks, quarter-sized chunks, all over the sides. Of course. Easy fix, no? Just clean it out and run a hot rinse? Of course! Wait, we have no hot water. So, my action items went something like this:
- Run upstairs, fill up my trusty spaghetti pots again to boil water.
- Spend 5 minutes scraping poop off the side of my washing machine.
- Spray bleach and scrub said washing machine.
- Bring down pots of boiling water (side note: I now have two trivets sitting on the dryer so that I have a place to put boiling pots of water while I’m loading the washing machine)
- Take a mug and rinse the washing machine to get the bleach and poop off.
- Run a rinse cycle in washing machine after pouring the rest of my boiling water inside.
- Go back upstairs, boil more water in order to re-wash all of Owen’s clothes after carefully inspecting EVERY article of clothing to prevent this hilarious event from happening again.
And there you have it folks, a night in the life of an unlucky person 🙂