What happens when you buy new clothes that fit you and have people telling you just how “skinny” you look??? You get lazy. Or at least I do. Not that I was all that crazy motivated before this week anyway, since finding time to buy good-for-me food and to exercise was impossible. But this week I reluctantly stepped on the scale. It would have been so easy for me to just skip it and say “eh, I bet it’s about the same” or “I don’t want to see it.” But you know what, if I had done that, then I would not know exactly how far I had let myself go in the direction of giving up, and would have done the exact same thing next week, and the week after, and forever.
168. That is my number. Granted, that’s only 1.2 pounds up from a few weeks ago when I last revealed my weight, but it’s still up. And I don’t have mother nature, or lack of water drinking, or constipation to blame. Just me. All of the choices I made over the last couple of weeks. My lack of caring, or routine, or whatever it is that motivates me. My body has been craving fruits and veggies. So, it should be easy as pie (mmm..pie) to eat right and lose weight, right? Well, I would think so, but since I’m in such a slump and feel so out of control, I eat crap, just because I have always done that And I never want it, it’s just what I’m used to….CRAZY, RIGHT?? I know. ::rolling eyes at self::
Blair is asking what we are doing to keep this up as a lifestyle change. Something that will keep the weight off rather than just lose weight for now with some “get skinny quick” regime. And the truth is, I don’t know. Up until a couple weeks ago I was trying to do small things so that I would get used to them as a lifestyle change rather than just a “this will make me lose 5 pounds this week!” dramatic fix. But what about these weeks when it just seems to go right out the window? The weeks when I feel like “well, I’ve ruined it, why try again?” I’m sitting today trying to figure that out. Because I do want this, for real. I want to look at myself and see someone who feels good about the way she looks. Someone who isn’t scared to be fashionable like her “cute skinny” friends.
I got an instant message from a best friend the other day “Kid, I just ate an italian sub, I needed it… Now I’ve ruined everything.” She had recently joined Weight Watchers but had a bad day because her grandmother had fallen and broken her hip. …just hours after she made travel arrangements to fly down to take that same grandmother to a home for Alzheimer’s patients. Not her happiest hour. And I had these great encouraging words for her about how 1 sub doesn’t sabotage all of her amazing efforts. That flex points are there for that very reason. And that she can’t expect to go the rest of her life thinking she can’t have a sub. Meanwhile here I am thinking this slump is the end for me and the effort is no longer worth it???? Tell me how that makes any sense??
I need a plan. I need structure… and I need fruit… mmm and veggies. What dumbass craves fruit and instead eats ice cream? Who looks in the fridge and thinks, “wow, that asparagus would be delicious” but makes french fries?? This gal. What backwards mind thinks “wow, today would be the best day to take a walk at lunch” and then drives to get an iced coffee??? ah hem… yup, me.
Well, poo on that. No more boo-hooing and “woe is me.” My body and mind is making it easy for me, and I’m resisting??? Jerk. So, in a Biggest Loser-esque close-out segment that they do at the end of every show, re-capping the eliminated player’s time on the ranch and their “America, the next time you see me….” way, I’ll say:
“McFatties, the next time you see me, I’ll be 3 lbs lighter and have a much brighter outlook. Oh, and maybe finally take a picture of myself since I pretty much promise that every week.”
1.) “kid” is a really bad, obnoxious term that my friends use. Not sure how many people outside my really small town use it because we are often made fun of for it… and it’s said in a trashy, Massachusetts accent.
2.) Don’t get your hopes up about that picture… I tend to procrastinate 🙂