Promise me that when you grow up you will not grab, adjust, itch, or just plain touch your junk when in public. Especially do not do these things when in clear view (ie. directly in front of) someone of the female persuasion. I hope daddy can teach you the smooth way to “take care of” any adjustments or itches necessary and that I can convince you that there are no women out there who want to take notice of your crotchal displays.
Also, promise me that you will try your hardest to withhold from farting when within smelling range of strangers. It is just rude.
I understand these are very difficult requests for me to be asking of you. However, I guarantee that if you oblige, you will be better off for it.