I have 4 words for this week’s McFatty Monday….
nuff said. Remember a few weeks back when Blair talked about emotional eating?? Well, I had responded that yes, I am an emotional eater, but it was not until this week that I could consciously recognize every feeling I was having and how immediately they linked to what I wanted to eat. This was an awful week for me emotionally. I felt like every aspect of my life was out of control. It was the first week that I upped my number of blogs to write for my second job, I only had two days to work last week because of Monday’s holiday and Wednesday my daycare called out on me, I felt like the workload for my full time job was never going to stop building and I just couldn’t keep up. I was barely sleeping, and thanks to my knees blowing out on me on the treadmill, I wasn’t able to exercise at all, not that I had the time. My house looked like a frat house, and the laundry pile was so high I could have been buried. So, all of that led to:
- McDonalds: twice
- Chicken parm calzone
- Steak and cheese subs
- French Fries
- Papa Ginos Pizza
- Uno’s deep dish pizza
- Ribs drenched in bbq sauce
- THREE cupcakes
- Enough coffee to kill a horse
- Cold Stone Creamery
- Lobster (oh, lobster is good for you, you say? how about put into 1/2 a stick of melted butter with a potato on the side with another 2 tablespoons of butter and way more than a “dollop” of sour cream?… yeah, it’s like that)
Now that I’ve listed it all, I’m in shock. It disgusts me! But all week I did not care. I was hitting my breaking point and the only thing I could think of that would make me feel better was food… fatty food. And it got me through, it really did. But, now, this week, I’m calmer; I feel like my life is back in control. It’s a full week of work, which means I can be productive. I’m 99% sure my daycare for the week will be reliable, and I am feeling physically well enough to exercise. CONTROL. That seems to be what I need to do this successfully.
On a good note, I had to skip McFatty monday last week because of the holiday and sheer craziness of the day. BUT, I was down… FOUR pounds. How was I so successful?? I actually counted points. I have always had success the weeks that I actually counted.
This week? 175 lbs. So, back to where I was two weeks ago (or a half a pound higher)… BUT, I am not unhappy with that number. I counted no points all week, did not exercise even for a minute, and I’m sporting a sexy mid period bloat. So, 4 lbs gain when you consider zero exercise, water weight, and enough fat to feed a third world country? Not so bad.
This week I’m back on the horse, but this week I will not be feeding that horse, only myself. And I feel like I’m in such a better place this week, I have control. I’ll be counting points all week again, and caring about what I eat.
PS. Blair, we love you 🙂 Eat a few cookies if you need to, no one will judge, and sometimes, it really can make you feel better, as I have proven to myself this week.