Success? I don’t feel it.

I’ve been wracking my brain all day trying to figure out what I’ll write for my McFatty Monday post.  Should I go positive and say I’ve lost 3.4 pounds?  Or should I talk about how I really think that’s a fluke and it’s really my weight loss from last week but now my bloat has gone down and I spent this whole week fulfilling NONE of my goals and struggling every second with eating? 

I’ll start with the good.  I lost 3.4 lbs.  Even if it was really last week’s weight loss and I finally lost all that menstrual weight and it’s just showing up now, at least it’s something.  I should be very very happy with that.  It’s 3.4 pounds that I no longer need to carry… 3.4 pounds closer to my 150ish goal.  And, it’s enough to keep me going rather than thinking like I usually do “what’s the point?” 

The bad news, and here is where you can insert your “waaaahhh, poor you” comment.  I just don’t feel like I succeeded.  I’m happy for the loss, I truly am, but I didn’t even work out ONCE this week… not even once.  Granted I worked every night after Owen went to bed until 11 pm, and barely slept all week, not to mention the catastrophe I endured on my hip which made it painful to even walk… But still, not even once.  It makes me feel like a failure.  This week will be better though, I have a lot more time, and my hip is feeling better, so, no excuses! 

I did not drink nearly as much water as I should have, and most of the water I drank was carbonated.  It never really leaves me feeling hydrated.  But I get bored with real water, and I’m allergic to EVERY flavored water, so I tend to go with seltzer.  I guess it’s better than nothing.  But that water bottle that I said I brought to work to keep me drinking is still EMPTY on my desk.  Gotta get my fat ass up to the water cooler and fill it!!

I guess I did not fail at ALL of my goals… I DID NOT EAT MCDONALDS!!  And this week that was VERY tough.  I was super stressed out about work and money, and was hating everyone around me.  During my lunch errands, it would have been extremely easy to have told myself that I can drive right through and pick up a quick meal and it would be okay because I just don’t have the time.  But I didn’t, even though I thought about it often.  So, bonus points for me, since that’s my number one comfort food.  My meals, however, weren’t all that I had hoped they’d be.  Thursday night ended up being a chinese food frenzy, followed by like 10 mini snickers bars  (not to mention the beer).  Friday night… frozen pizza, no time for real food, we had a party to go to!! But I did limit myself to two pieces instead of my usual FULL HALF.  Saturday?? MMMMMM.. Dave’s sub suggestion was great.  I should have gotten a salad or a turkey sub perhaps?  No, I wanted pastrami… with EVERYTHING.  So, although every other meal was pretty good, mainly salads, cereal, and your meat/veggie/carb dinner, I still feel like I failed.  I’m going to work much harder this week.  I have no plans, no bad work days, and the fridge is stocked. 

So, I’d like to also make comments about Blair’s McFatty Monday post, because her short and sweet post seriously hit home.  This week I was stressed, worried, emotional, TIRED.  All I wanted was ice cream, subs, KFC… I continuously thought about how much better I would feel if I only gave in to my cravings.  One meal wouldn’t hurt, right?  I could easily convince myself of that.  But, in the back of my mind, I kept thinking about how I am no longer letting my excuses be the norm.  Sure, we’ll all have our big cheats, and sometimes, it’s just necessary to keep your sanity, but not ALL the time.  Right now, I have this very valuable way to keep myself accountable, even if no one is reading it, I am pretending like someone will be disappointed if I fail. Because when it all comes down to it, I’ll be disappointed, and although at that moment I might feel great because of the high fat, grease I just ate, in 3o minutes I’ll feel regret, and on Monday morning, when I weigh myself in, I’ll look back and know there’s only me to blame, and that NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS SKINNY FEELS!!!

So, for this week I have pretty much the same goals as last week.  I need to exercise AT LEAST twice.  I went to the gym tonight with my friend Tracey who will help hold me accountable for actually GOING to the gym, rather than just saying I will.  We went to the WORST yoga class I’ve ever been to, so I feel as though my one hour of stretching on the floor did nothing, but from now on, I know that the treadmill is my friend, and Jillian Michaels is always here in my living room if I need a good ass kicking.  So, I don’t count tonight, which means I still have TWO more sessions to go!

I will not eat McDonalds… yes, that SAME goal again, but believe me, without it, I’d be knee deep in big macs and fries. 

And lastly, tomorrow I WILL fill that water bottle at work, and I WILL drink from it. 

No, wait, one more.  I said in my previous posts that I was doing baby steps, and that I wasn’t ready for counting points and portion control yet… Well, this week I’ll need to start working on that.  Maybe not go crazy with counting points, but actually read portions and see if I can keep to them.  Baby steps!!!  And maybe on one of my salads this week I’ll put a lower fat dressing… but not all, I can’t get crazy!!

I have high hopes for this week, even though I seem so down on last week.  A loss is a loss, and since I’m not so stressed this week I feel like I’ll be more motivated to follow through on my goals. 

Here are my stats! (I don’t know what my previous measurements were, but I think I lost in the waist?)  Next week??? A PICTURE!!! yikes.

Weight: 171.6

Chest: 42.75″

Waist: 34″

Hips: 39.75″

Thigh: 24″

Arm: 12″

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About Krista

Livin the poor life with the typical american family; husband, baby, and dogs. Happy to tell it like it is, the ins and outs of being a young, hip mom can be more hilarious than one might think ;)
This entry was posted in Blair, McFatty. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Success? I don’t feel it.

  1. heirtoblair says:

    I do the SAME THING about thinking “one cheat meal won’t hurt.” Except then I give myself a “cheat meal” every damn day. Along with cheat cookies. and cheat soda. and cheat ice cream.

    and then I’m all, WTF is wrong with the scale??

    oh, that’s right. It’s me.

    You are doing awesome. & have inspired me to take measurements! Now, where to find a measuring tape…?

  2. Zainylainy says:

    Have you tried crystal light in your water? If you’re not allergic it is WW approved and helps make water tastier for those that have a hard time with drinking water. Good luck with your exercise! I’m going to need it too!

    • True To Life says:

      I’m allergic to anything with Nutrasweet, or Splenda (or aspertame and sucralose)… It makes it very difficult to eat any “light” or “diet” or “no sugar” foods/drinks!! But, I always have the option to go natural, it’s just sometimes not as tastey 🙂

  3. Alanna says:

    Good job on denying the McDonalds. I know how hard it can be to resist the easy and fast option when you are doing a million other things. My hubby and I set a goal. Our first cheat meal will be his birthday, which will be about 6 weeks after we started “dieting.” I really want him to be able to have a fun birthday, so its motivation to not cheat until then. Cause if I cheat before then, I can’t cheat then (or so I am telling myself).

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