Update: I am going to post a new picture soon because the bruise on my hip has gotten WAY bigger… it’s truly impressive now 🙂
Ever have one of those days where one little thing goes wrong, followed by a domino effect of punches in the gut that leave you wondering if you should just curl up in bed and wait until the next day before attempting any other activities? That was my day on Thursday. Normally I have Fridays off, but my mother in law needed to switch her day, so I happily took Thursday off. After having an awful start to the week at work, taking Thursday off was just what I needed to unwind and get back to work Friday with some motivation.
I needed to start the day immediately with a trip to FedEx to ship out all of the accessories my group needed for the sales meeting next week (filters, posters, a guitar… yes, a guitar, strange). I rushed to FedEx because I only had an hour to get there and back before my friend needed to leave my house (she was watching Owen because there was NO way I was going to be able to go to FedEx and carry 5 boxes from the car inside while also carrying a 4 month old infant). I got to FedEx and was so impressed at the quality of Employees they had working there. No, wait…. I went in, had to flag someone down to tell them that I was picking up a print job, and then needed to ship 5 boxes to Paris ASAP. The young manager who thought she was more important than Obama proceeded to tell me about shipment to Paris and that all of the information I had read online about the options were false. I told her it did not matter to me what the options were, as long as these boxes got to Paris by Saturday. I understand this was a tall order to have something shipped to Paris in 2 days, but I had no other option. When you work with constant nagging, last-minute, “my stuff is most important” co-workers like I do, your only option is to wait until the last second to finalize ANYTHING. Anyway…. I went out to my car, got all of the boxes, then stood at the counter for 10 minutes while all 4 employees chatted about headaches, messes, and how they do not feel like doing any work. No, seriously, they ignored me that long…. after I had specifically JUST told the girl that I was going out to the car to get the boxes… Anyway, that was not an unlucky part of my day, just unfortunate, because I had limited time (I ended up 10 minutes late, btw) and I wanted to yell at every person in that damn place. I can understand hating your job if you work as a counter clerk at FedEx, and I can understand you being slow and not jumping at the chance to help a crazy lady who would do anything to get her shipment to Paris by Saturday. But seriously, how do you BLATANTLY ignore someone??? On to the point… I finally had to say, just box it all up and charge me then call me and let me know that it got out okay… I was running so late, and was not about to have my friend lose her job because of the jerks at FedEx… I left there SO happy to be done shipping that stuff because it meant the end of everything I needed to do for the sales meeting that EVERYONE but me got to go to. I spent endless hours (up until 11 every night) prepping everything for the group, and will see none of the benefits (well, except for the most quiet week EVER next week when everyone is gone!)…. I got home, happy that I had that all taken care of and got the call from FedEX…. The packages cost ONE THOUSAND dollars to ship. ONE THOUSAND dollars charged to my corporate card that my boss will see and need to approve… ooops… perhaps I should have not waited until the last minute to ship EVERYTHING…
So, day goes on… I get nothing done because Owen refuses to nap. I decide to go run my errands because he’ll hopefully sleep in the car and we don’t have enough formula or diapers to get us through the day. Errands go as normal, Owen wouldn’t sleep and I got a cart at Walmart that made me look like an out of control driver, but I got what I needed and spent under my budget, so I was happy. On the way home, however, I almost got killed by a driver who blatantly ran a red light after my light had been green long enough to have started going… Close call, and lots of beeping (he didn’t even acknowledge that I was about to ram into his left hip or was blaring a horn in his ear), but we survived, and I was happy.
Get home and decide that before Dave gets home and we go out to our friends to watch the Office (Thursday night is a very big night for us), that I deserve a beer. I had not had a chance to relax all day, I almost just got killed, and it is Thursday, after all. I opened up one of the beers that Dave bought me since I am not able to go into a liquor store and buy alcohol (see a previous blog post) and sat down with Owen to enjoy an hour of quiet. Owen started getting cranky, so I decided to bring him in to get a new bum and as I put my beer down I threw it on the ground and it exploded all over EVERYTHING…. the couch, the blanket, the rug, the port-o-crib that I had out to bring to office night…. EVERYWHERE… I propped Owen up on the couch and ran to get a towel in the kitchen… finally got everything cleaned up and proceeded to bring Owen to change his diaper and, of course, knocked the beer down AGAIN… EVERYWHERE… Clean up #2. Luckily by this time all of the beer was pretty much gone, so had I done it again, there would be no spillage… I failed at my relaxing beer….
Dave got home and we packed everything up to head out to our normal Thursday night celebration. I for some reason insisted to Dave that I can carry Owen, the diaper bag, the formula and bottle bag, and let him take the port-o-crib and get the door. I normally carry a lot more on my own, so that isn’t all that strange, but when Dave is around, I give him a lot more to carry, so I don’t know why I decided I’d carry it all. He held the door behind me as I walked out, and immediately my foot came out from under me, and I slid down 3 stairs on my hip. My only focus was to make sure Owen did not hit the ground. Luckily he was in his carseat, so he was pretty safe, but I did not want him to feel the force of the fall, so I lifted my arm as high as I could, shifting my body sideways so that I was perfectly situated on my hip bone as I slid down each step and then eventually on to the cement below. I screamed, Dave yelled, and Owen just whimpered. He was fine… me……eh
yes, I blocked out my ass crack… I thought about not doing it, just because seriously, everyone who wears low rise jeans shows their ass to the world on a daily basis… but I figure you guys have to suffer by seeing my veiny saggy belly, and that’s torture enough 🙂