Welcome to Trashville… population me.

So, I committed trashville blunder #1 today… I went into a liquor store…. WITH my baby.  I mosied on in, stroller and all, and perused each aisle looking for the perfect wine and beer.  This is something I promised I would never do.  I picture the other customers and the clerk thinking loudly in their minds “DO YOU NEED TO DRINK THAT MUCH THAT YOU NEED TO BRING YOUR BABY TO THE LIQUOR STORE???”  Now, I would not judge anyone who brings their children to the liquor store… I get it… you need to do errands and more times than not you’re the one who has to watch your child, which means they need to go everywhere you do, including the liquor store. 

My main purpose for going there, and why it NEEDED to be today that I bought liquor, is that I am going to a psychic party tonight (SO EXCITED) and of course cannot come empty handed!!!  What kind of a guest would I be?? 🙂  So, I wheel Owen up to the counter, plop the 12 pack for Dave by the register, and pull the ginormous bottle of wine off of Owen (hey, I only have so many hands and there’s really no easy place to put wine on a stroller unless it looks like I’m stealing it!)  and the first words from the young guy’s mouth were “do you have your id?”  Now, I am totally used to this.  Even though I am 30 and have bought alcohol in EVERY establishment from here to california, I still get carded… EVERYWHERE.  I always pleasantly answer “I sure do!” to emphasize that I am more than happy to give up my proper form of id, and am in no way scared I’ll get caught with a fake.  Problem is that this time… this time after I said “I sure do”, I realized… I do not.  I frantically went through my purse, nothing, rummaged through the stroller, nothing.  Purse again… Damn, nothing. 

I embarrassingly turned to the clerk and said “you know, I don’t have my license.  I went and started a new job yesterday and must have left it.”  Again, trying to sound convincing, as though I was NOT lying.  “Well, that is unfortunate, because I will not sell you alcohol.  Is it in your car?”  Me: “I sure hope so, or I’ve lost my license”  So, I had to do the walk of shame out of the liquor store, hoping to God that my license was in my car, so that I could hold my head up high as I walked back into the liquor store to prove that I was 9 years older than the legal age.  No such luck…. So, I did what 19 year olds do… I drove away, positive they were thinking I was lying and had gotten “caught.”  How embarrassing?? 

What is amazing to me, is that I live in such a trashy town, that the store clerk would not  automatically assume that since I was there with MY CHILD, that I might be over 21.  Like this is a normal occurence.  I am obviously an un-wed, teen mom, here using my motherhood status to try to trick the liquor store guy into selling me alcohol.  The sad ending to this story?  I had to have my husband, who is 5 years younger than I am, buy me alcohol.  Something I used to do for him when he was underage.  I am so ashamed… and better find my license REAL SOON!


About Krista

Livin the poor life with the typical american family; husband, baby, and dogs. Happy to tell it like it is, the ins and outs of being a young, hip mom can be more hilarious than one might think ;)
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